On the heels of the recent smash success of The Time Machine…OK, it had one good week at the box office and then pretty much fell off the face of the time-space continuum, but give us a break. Anyway, asked a wide variety of celebrities, ranging from the really famous to the really well-known, to what era they would travel if they had a time machine. Here are the responses.

Halle Berry: Oh, my god! Oh, my god! I can't believe I have this opportunity! (sobbing)...

David Schwimmer: Well, it certainly wouldn't be the time of dinosaurs or fossils, because I am not geeky, OK? My character, Ross, is, but I am NOT the character. OK? I am not Ross!

Ozzy Osbourne: Right, I love history, right? History Channel? Bleedin' remote control. History Channel. You know, history's quite amazing, really. Where's the bloody remote?

Whoopi Goldberg: Honey, if they made a movie about a time machine with me in it, I'd be the one dusting the dashboard. It's not a movie? Well, wherever I went to, baby, it would probably be a time where I'd be the one dusting the dashboard.

Woody Allen: Somewhere back in the Ming Dynasty. I'm sure the Chinese takeout would be great.

Russell Crowe: (expletive deleted)

Don Henley: I think I'd like to go back to about 1986 and look for my sense of humor.

Halle Berry: This is truly a historical occasion. I want to think my co-stars in Strictly Business...

Sean Combs: I'd go back, you know what I'm saying, to the fifties, because that's when my man Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner were doing their thing. You know, Jennifer and I were just like them, you know what I'm saying? Did I ever mention that? Could I go back to when she was with me?

Billy Crystal: I'd go back to any day in Yankee Stadium in 1961 so I could see The Mick. Boy, I loved Mickey Mantle. Actually, can I change my answer? I could go back in time to when Mickey Mantle's house was being built so I could find a hiding spot and then when he moved in, I'd already be there! Or wait. I'd like to go back in time to when Mickey Mantle was conceived, then knock out his dad, so I could have the honor of conceiving Mickey Mantle. Boy, that would really be something.

Bono: I'd go back however long it took to find a time before the starving nations of the world got such crippling debt. Then I'd prevent them from getting the debt by not letting them pay for anything. Then I'd get back to that Northern Ireland thing.

Mariah Carey: Oh, wow! I'd love to go back to, like, really long-ago Ireland, because I saw this pretty picture one time that had this really sweet rainbow and a big horse in it, and they were in Ireland. Oh, and I'd want to take all my fans with me! I love you guys!

Wilford Brimley: I think if given such an intriguing opportunity, I'd venture back to the early days of the Byzantine Empire. I've always had a fascination with the geopolitical machinations of that age, and it would be enlightening to have such a vivid vantage point from which to observe them.

Jay Leno: I'd go back to 1994 and find O.J.'s real killer! Ha ha! Yeah, right! Ha ha!

Halle Berry: Oh, my! Thanks to the man that built the time machine, and to Albert Einstein, and to...

Jerry Seinfeld: I'm not sure where I'd go, but I just hope if it's one of those big chairs, that it has a cupholder! I mean, in the movie, the guy builds a machine capable of spanning hundreds of thousands of years, but he can't remember to provide for some refreshment? Talk about a long trip!

Ray Romano: I don't know, but I hope the machine has a cupholder! What? Jerry already said that? Damn.

Matt Damon: It would be really neat to go back to the thirties and be gangsters in Chicago? Hey, can Ben go with me? Please? We'd have to watch it because he's still in recovery, but we could, you know, hang out with the guys and maybe get to hold their guns and everything.

Kid Rock: OWWW! Man, that would be (expletive deleted) awesome to go back to 1977…the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit…a little thing called BOB SEGER and the SILVER BULLET BAND! OW!

Halle Berry: There are many important places I'd like to visit, and I'd just like to name a few of them right now…Oh, my God, this is so wonderful...

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