After months of episodes, tons of speculation, and infinite hype, there are still many unsolved mysteries from this second season of Survivor. Even Bryant Gumbel couldn't get to the bottom of these ones. Granted, he was busy asking questions about Amber and Elisabeth's bathing suits, but we are still disappointed. Hopefully a Stacey Stillman will emerge from the bunch and file a lawsuit so we can get some more dirt. Until then, we ask these questions in an effort to reach closure.

• OK, what was up with Kel's Pee Wee Herman impersonation that (according to rumor) got him kicked off. Was he eating beef jerky or jerking his beef? And was he really humming a George Michael tune while he was doing it?
• Why would anyone go to an outdoor survival situation like this without a basic brushing up of some basic rudimentary skills-like, oh, I don't know, building a fire? Or not building your camp where it'll get flooded out?
• Just how much footage of Michael burning himself is Mark Burnett sitting on? How long till it shows up on the DVD?
• Just who in the hell was "Nick," again?
• Out in a remote location, with presumably no access to controlled substances, what could Kimmi have possibly ingested to give her enough nerve to risk getting her ass kicked by Alicia?
• Why couldn't they have worked at least one kangaroo into the mix?
• How did Jeff Probst become one of People's most beautiful people?
• Will Amber really pose for Playboy? And how can we help make that happen? And would she have to get Jerri's permission?
• What do old people watch on Thursdays now that Diagnosis Murder isn't on anymore?
• Was there really anything romantic going on between any of these couples: Jerri and sidekick Amber, Roger and Elisabeth, Kel and his right hand?
• If Tina had won immunity in the final episode, would she have been as loyal to Colby as he was to her?
• Which oedipal relationship was creepier: Colby and his own mom, or Colby and Tina? What was up with Colby and his Mom sleeping together in the back of that SUV? Or her watching him taking a shower?
• What did Jerri mean when she told Bryant Gumbel "we're gonna have breakfast again?" Again? Did it involve dinner the night before, as well?
• Is Elisabeth really primed to become "America's Sweetheart" after Colleen Haskel's upcoming The Animal tanks?

And finally, a mystery that we should definitely see solved in the next season of the show:

• Just how many more ways can they possibly milk the footage to stretch out the number of episodes they can put together?