MAY

1) About A Boy
The brothers who directed American Pie bring us an adaptation of the Nick Hornby novel about a man who resists becoming all growed up and the boy he "befriends"-and by "befriends," we mean gets constant harassment from until he begrudgingly decides not to kill him.

How do we know this movie is less crude than the Weitz brothers' earlier effort, American Pie?

Just listen to that sensitive Dave Matthews wanna-be song in the trailer!

Rumor has it there are characters that actually don't have sex in this movie.

Instead of just humping the pie, Hugh Grant's character takes it to dinner and a movie first.

2) Enough
J-Lo tries to get all tough ("I attack!") to take care of an abusive husband. This movie has been derisively called Sleeping with the Enemy 2, but that's really unfair…to Julia Roberts. J-Lo isn't quite in her league yet. But, hey, has anybody seen J-Ro duet with Ja Rule? Take that, Miss 20 Million Bucks!

I think we all agree J-Lo is about as threatening as the average Olsen Twins fan club member. If J-Lo really needed help in a dangerous situation, which of her old colleagues would be the most intimidating?

P Diddy

Ja Rule

That large monstrous thing that was on her head at this year's Academy Awards.

3) Insomnia
Christopher Nolan follows last year's dazzlingly original Memento with…a remake? Yes, this thriller starring Al Pacino as a cop who investigates a murder while fighting insomnia was made in Norway in 1997. I have heard people bitching about the decision to remake the original, but early word is strong, and Pacino will always lure me into the theater. Especially when he opens his coat and shows me that nice pretty-colored candy.

What really kept Al Pacino up nights during production of this movie?

What really kept Al Pacino up nights during production of this movie?

The fear that one of the 10 Norwegians that saw the original will complain that the remake is sacrilege.

The realization that having won an Oscar really doesn't mean that much considering co-stars Hilary Swank and Robin Williams somehow have them, too.

4) Undercover Brother
In this blaxploitation/spy spoof, a black undercover agent goes up against the white establishment. Eddie Griffin plays-wait, Eddie Griffin? Next!

What does Denise Richards have to offer Undercover Brother?

Judging by the ad materials...her ass, quite frankly

Secondhand "street cred" from dating Charlie Sheen (in addition to the many other things you get from dating Charlie Sheen)

Her presence gives Eddie Griffin someone he can point to and say, "Hey, I can act better than THAT!"

5) The Sum of All Fears
Tom Clancy's franchise rolls on even though Harrison Ford has dropped out as CIA guy Jack Ryan. Replacing him is Ben Affleck. Yeah, I know, but don't worry, Morgan Freeman's in it, too.

This film taps into the deep-seated American fear of which threat?

The threat of nuclear terrorism

The threat that Hollywood will never run out of Tom Clancy novels to adapt

The threat that if real movie stars like Harrison Ford ever retire, guys like Ben Affleck will be carrying the ball

  JUNE

6) Bad Company
Anthony Hopkins is a CIA guy who has to recruit hustler Chris Rock when Rock's twin brother, who was an agent-oh, why bother? The pitch is Hopkins and Rock team up.

Who or what inspired Joel Shumacher to cast Chris Rock and Anthony Hopkins together?

The fact that DeNiro and Murphy decided to do Showtime instead

That memo from producer Jerry Bruckheimer that said "CAST ROCK AND HOPKINS"

The Casting Fairy-no, we're not making a Joel Shumacher joke here. Honest. Get your mind out of the gutter. Or at least away from Batman and Robin.

7) Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood
This appears to be a bunch of women bonding over the years, with some mother-daughter angst propelling the story. I love Sandra Bullock, but somehow I think Ellen Burstyn has a better chance of getting naked in this one. Ya Ya? Ya Ya? I must have missed the Oprah that explained this.

This movie would be most appropriately seen:

With your great aunt and her bridge partners

In disguise

On Lifetime, where it'll be playing constantly about 3 years from now

8) The Bourne Identity
In this adaptation of a Robert Ludlum novel, Matt Damon is a spy who forgets who he is and how he got where he is. Tough spot to be in when people are chasing after you and firing guns. This movie, I can assure you, does not unfold backwards, however.

Stories are circulating about studio pressure put on director Doug Liman to make changes. What was the biggest change the suits attempted to impose on this film?

Attempting to cash in on a hot trend by renaming it The Osbourne Identity

Eliminating those pesky parts of the movie that might disturb audiences--by asking them to think

Trying to add charisma for Damon in post-production

9) Scooby-Doo
Well, it's like Scooby-Doo…only with real actors. Not that the great Casey Kasem is not a real thespian, but you know what I mean. However, the live-action flick isn't offering "special guest stars" like Don Knotts or Tim Conway. I don't know, sounds like a wash at best. Didn't Kevin Smith take the starch out of this idea with that parody bit in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back? (Hint: Yes, he did)

What is the best reason to avoid this movie?

Your patriotic duty to never let Freddie Prinze near a hit movie

Protest at the producers' unconscionable decision to use a CGI Scooby instead of one of the many fine working dog actors out there

The inevitable appearance of a CGI Scrappy in the sequel

10) Windtalkers
John Woo's oft-delayed WWII epic about Navajo code specialists and the U.S. soldiers assigned to "protect" them while protecting the security of the code first. Didn't we have something about this in LAST YEAR'S summer preview?

What was Woo's biggest technical challenge while directing this film?

Orchestrating the complex battle scenes

Figuring out a way to get his damn white doves into this movie somehow

Trying to help Nicholas Cage remember how to act

11) Lilo and Stitch
Disney tries to prove that "regular" animation is still capable of cleaning up. An irreverent, lovable, twittering, beeping scamp of an alien named Stitch lands in Hawaii and is adopted by a lovable scamp of a girl, Lilo. Lilo and Stitch? Weren't they opening for Mort Sahl back in the sixties? Anyway, it's good to see Disney is trying to bounce back from the critical failure of its last big cartoon set in Hawaii – Pearl Harbor.

Sure it is done in a traditional animation style, but how does this movie differ from traditional Disney fare?

Lack of big star voices. Tia Carrere and Ving Rhames can only be considered big coups for Hollywood Squares.

The introduction of a character that could quite easily cause violent seizures in small children

The trailer features a song by AC/DC! Disney has never done anything like that for its cartoons-with the obvious exception of Beauty and the Beast which so memorably used Wasps's "F&#k like a Beast."

12) Minority Report
In the future-don't you just love when movie descriptions start out with that phrase?-people are arrested for crimes before they commit them. Tom Cruise is a cop who is fingered by the technology as someone who is going to commit murder. So of course he shrugs, surrenders peacefully, and accepts his punishment. Oops, I mean, he flees and tries to get to the bottom of things on his own. Yeah, come to think of it, that sounds a little more cinematic.

Which Steven Spielberg creation would you most want Tom Cruise to snuff out before it could harm innocent civilians?

That shifty, lawbreaking fugitive, E.T.

Teddy from A.I.

Kate Capshaw's acting career

13) Mr. Deeds
In this reworking of the Frank Capra classic Mr. Deeds Goes to Town, Adam Sandler takes on the Gary Cooper role as humble schmoe Longfollow Deeds, who lucks out by inheriting a fortune. Hmm, Sandler playing a guy who suddenly gets a lot of money for doing nothing? However will he pull that off?

Which classic scene from the original is not revived in this version?

That scene where Gary Cooper took out his tuba and started singing an impromptu song about Hanukkah.

The scene where Gary Cooper demonstrated how he got the name "Longfellow."

The scene where Gary Cooper get so angry he kicks a pebble into a wall at the base of the World Trade Center. Just too eerie.