It's never to late to better yourself, so I have decided to present my resolutions for the year ahead. Just because it's February doesn't mean I can't set some things down in writing. Instead of just listing my goals, I have decided to share specific examples of how I plan to apply these goals to my dealings with the world of entertainment. Perhaps you can be inspired by my example. As a bonus. I'll look at how we did in some of last year's resolutions.

My 2002 Resolutions:

• To be more gracious in defeat: I can achieve this by not complaining that Fox canceled The Tick--those idiots never even gave it a chance! I think everyone at Fox is just…uh, great people who make difficult decisions every day.

• To be more gracious in victory: Therefore I will not celebrate long into the night when Rosie O'Donnell leaves her talk show. Or at least I can resist the urge to fire guns into the air.

• To expand my vocabulary: To this end, I resolve to use the expression "Consarn it," with total sincerity, at least once in a review.

• Also: to NOT use the expression "(insert unhip icon) called, it wants (insert characteristic of unhip icon) back" all year.

• To take better care of myself physically: I will resist the temptation to watch MTV's TRL, which generally wreaks havoc on my digestive system, my nerves, and my general equilibrium.

• To be more temperate: But I will still go out and buy a bottle of whatever is being sold in the first liquor ad I see on NBC just because, well, it's kind of funny that NBC is resorting to that.

• To be more giving to the needy: I have several ideas. I resolve to buy a ticket to Kevin Costner's next movie, Dragonfly. I also will try to say something nice about Showtime, as if it were a real network.

• To break away from old routines: This year, especially when the summer blockbusters start coming out, I resolve to quit waving the style section with the box office weekend top 10 in it and yelling "Maybe THIS will be the one that beats that damn Titanic! Maybe!"

• To drive safer: This includes no longer rolling down my windows and giving everyone the middle finger whenever an AC/DC song comes on the radio. Even if it works for Stone Cold Steve Austin.

• To be more patient: Therefore, I will actually watch an hour or two of NBC's 2002 Winter Olympics coverage before declaring "it sucks."

• To be less jealous of others who have more than I do: OK, OK. I will stop referring to Ed Norton as "that lucky SOB" every time I mention him just because he's dating Salma Hayek.

• To look out more for the welfare of others: When I attend a crowded showing of the next Martin Lawrence movie, I will wait 20 minutes or so after it starts, run to the front of the auditorium, face the crowd, and yell, "What is WRONG with you? There are so many other options!"

• To be more humble: I vow that I will not defend anything I put on Cultureshark by saying "If we don't do it, then the terrorists will have won."

• To work harder: I will resist the temptation to dump our "lesser" articles in January and February because "nobody's reading anyway." Uh, starting after this one.

With a little luck, a little providence (But still no Providence, I damn sure resolve that) and the loyal support of you, our readers, these resolutions can be successful. But how did I do on last year's resolutions? Let's take a look at some examples:

To stop substituting "Tony Danza" for "Tiny Dancer" – and thinking it's still funny – when we hear that Elton John song.
Mission accomplished. Unfortunately, we now put Danza's name into "Sussudio" whenever we hear THAT song. It's even harder than it sounds.

To go out of our way to avoid giving money to Blockbuster Video.
They made it a lot easier on us by not stocking enough copies of that Richard Grieco thriller I wanted to rent.

To cover our eyes the night Britney Spears finally decides to go on stage naked.
Not applicable...yet. I'll renew this resolution if Bob Dole joins me. Come on, Bob, we'll do it for charity!

NOT to pay full price-no matter how tempting-to see Scary Movie 2.
Uh, hey, we have a job to review notable movies.

And also to avoid paying full price for the Mariah Carey movie coming out this year.
This one I managed, but of course it was only in theaters for one week. Kind of removed the temptation.

To refuse any ride from Halle Berry or Matthew Perry, even if it sounds like a fun idea at the time.
Done! But we never should have hopped in with Rebecca Gayheart, even if her skin was so smooth and fresh.

To really appreciate Wilford Brimley…while he's still here, dammit.
Just the other day, I thought about renting Cocoon. Didn't actually pull the trigger, but I really gave it 5 seconds of a thought. Rest assured my reluctance was more of a Steve Guttenberg thing than a reluctance to Wilford thing.

To somehow manage to keep a straight face while watching or reading an interview with Fred Durst.
Come on, the guy actually said he was leaving the country earlier this year. How could that not bring a smile to my face?

To download no songs off Napster…that are by Metallica.
Well, Napster took care of this one by making their system a pain in the Ulrich to access, then shutting it down outright, then launching a pay version. Napster who?