Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Redux

Highlights: In the wake of the overwhelming success of Dreamworks' irreverent Shrek, Disney has added new scenes that turn Snow White into a "sassier, edgier" heroine who will appeal to older as well as younger crowds. The additional footage is also said to contain numerous "in-jokes" about Dreamworks cartoons like Antz and Prince of Egypt.

Quotable: "Everyone that could stop this is either dead or on our side." – Disney lawyer Michael Shaminoff.
"The new character of the witch's henchman, Katzo, is in no way intended to resemble Jeffrey Katzenberg." – Shaminoff

2001: A Space Odyssey Redux

Highlights: Steven Spielberg, fresh from his sort-of collaboration with Stanley Kubrick on A.I., has supposedly used notes left by the deceased director as the basis for "enhancing" the sci-fi epic. Look for an adorable alien sidekick named Googly who joins the ship in several new scenes.

Quotable: "Stanley always wanted to add this character, but the technology at the time didn't allow it. It says so in his notes. Yes, it really does. No, I won't let you see them." –Spielberg

Eyes Wide Shut Redux

Highlights: Spielberg continues his effort to perpetuate Kubrick's legacy by using the "boxes of notes" left behind to "enhance" the divisive and controversial Cruise and Kidman drama. The most significant addition is a digitally inserted robot butler in the infamous orgy scene.

Quotable: "The robot really takes the edge off. This was Stanley's original idea for dealing with the cuts he was asked to make. Hey, I'm just following the notes here." – Spielberg

The Exorcist: The Version You've Never Seen Redux

Highlights: The umpteenth version of this classic horror films will hit theaters early next year. It was thought all existing frames of the film that was shot had already been added to prints for last year's re-release, and the DVD before that, but Warner Brothers has discovered a new scene that features a possessed Regan insulting the memory of Martin Luther King.

Quotable: "Fans will be chilled by this new footage. She says some really evil things about him." – Warner Brothers publicist Frank Evers.
"We'll keep doing this every year if we can get away with it." – Producer William Peter Blatty

Untitled Spike Lee Project Redux

Highlights: Although the actual movie, scheduled for release in 2004, hasn't even been named yet, let alone shot, Lee is already preparing a retooled version for theaters.

Quotable: "I'm sure the suits will mess with it sooner or later, so I just want to restore my vision so the public can see it." – Lee

Citizen Kane Redux

Highlights: Everyone who said that you can't improve a classic was wrong, or at least Warner Brothers hopes so. Ever wonder how everyone knew Kane said "Rosebud" when nobody else was in the room? A team of film-school students was paid minimum wage to assemble a five-minute scene (consisting of a voice-over over still photos) that explains the whole thing. The theatrical release of this new version will hit theaters shortly after the DVD of the original hits stores this month.

Quotable: "That always bugged me. I'm sure it bugged Orson, too, even though he never admitted it for 45 years." – USC grad student Kevin Douglas
"We hope that the loyal fans of this classic movie will flock to see it yet again, and of course to later buy yet another edition of the movie for their home video library." – Warner Home Video spokesman Barry Lyons

Dude, Where's My Car? Redux

Highlights: Restored scenes not seen anywhere before, not even on the recent DVD release of this modern-day classic, reveal much of the "backstory" of how Jesse and Chester met and became friends. Executives didn't want to spoil any surprises, but we're told to expect some pot jokes.

Quotable: "Dude, so are we, like, doing a sequel or what?" – Co-star Ashton Kuthcher

Pulp Fiction Redux

Highlights: The main attraction is a newly restored 10-minute scene featuring Quentin Tarantino telling Vincent Vega his list of all-time favorite Hong Kong action movies and how they compare to old spaghetti westerns. In another restored scene, Tarantino is seen explaining the significance of hairstyles in African-American cinema of the 1970's.

Quotable: "Hey, let's face it, I may never make another actual movie again. I gotta get this stuff in somewhere." – Tarantino

City Lights Redux

Highlights: No unused footage of Charlie Chaplin's silent classic could be excavated, but enterprising sound engineers at Miramax, along with several gag writers who remain anonymous, have added a new soundtrack, including dubbed voices to replace the title cards, plus "enhanced sound effects" and random fart noises scattered liberally throughout the film."

Quotable: "It's like a whole new movie now! Silent movies are boring!" – Jeff Eysenbach, project producer
"It's like the Farrellys gone old-school." – Anonymous writer

Ten Commandments Redux

Highlights: The already massive Biblical epic now comes to theaters in an expanded format with two extra hours of restored scenes, bringing the running time to nearly six hours.

Quotable: "We are encouraging theater owners not to revoke free refill policies during this wondrous epic." – Paramount Assistant Director of Media Relations Wendy Millvane
"We also have a restored Davey and Goliath cartoon to run during the third intermission." – Millvane

Apocalypse Now Redux Redux

Highlights: Francis Ford Coppola has unearthed yet more footage originally intended for his Vietnam epic but scrapped for length. The new scene just happens to contain the only footage of Coppola's then 23-year-old cousin third cousin Silvio, who has a small speaking role as a young American soldier.

Quotable: "I think that covers everybody now." – Coppola

Platoon Redux

Highlights: Oliver Stone expands his harrowing Vietnam War flick with five minutes of footage blaming the Warren Commission for U.S. involvement in the war. Also expect an extended drug trip scene.

Quotable: "There's not way in hell I'm gonna let Coppola get all the glory. I was THERE, you know." – Stone