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You may think that sitting through the whole Academy Awards telecast gave you all the answers. Try grappling with some of our unanswered Oscar questions. Hey, they can't be any worse than Joan Rivers' questions.
When did Drew Barrymore become Wynona Judd? When Whoopi Goldberg was introducing "a New Yorker movie icon," was anyone else afraid it was gonna be Ed Burns? Maybe he sat in on clarinet in Woody's band this year. What the hell did Maggie Smith have to talk about all night with seating companions Will Smith and Jada Pinkett? When do we get to start calling her "Dame?" Since every other award presentation is on television, why don't they show the technical awards on TV? Or are they only on channel 534 in the movie tier of the digital cable package I won't buy? Was anyone else somehow strangely reassured when Tom Hanks appeared at the end of the night? I have to ask after seeing them present together: Why don't Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock do a movie together? How hard was John Nash laughing at Whoopi's schizophrenia jokes? Speaking of Nash references, what was Survivor reject Silas doing there? I wish I had just imagined him being there. Does HBO's dominance of the documentary categories mean that eventually we're gonna have to hand over the Emmys AND the Oscars to them someday? During his rendition of the Oscar-nominated "If I Didn't Have You," was John Goodman trying to channel the spirit of Scatman Crothers? Quick-who won the Oscar for Best Sound Design? Isn't Jeff Wells of reel.com right to suggest Nathan Lane should be next year's Oscar host? Or am I just desperate to get Whoopi out of there? And was Whoopi a lot slimmer than she has been in years? Is it fair to assume Hollywood Squares isn't paying the bills for her anymore? If the pace of this past week continues, are they gonna have to devote a whole hour to the "In Memoriam" segment next year? What were John Travolta and Sharon Stone so giddy about? Isn't Pretty Woman, a movie that glossily glamorizes prostitution, almost too perfect a choice for Britney Spears as her favorite movie? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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