Continuing our proud tradition of interviews with non-traditional movie stars, we sought out Beppo, the wonderful monkey that steals every scene he is in in Julie Taymor's Frida, playing, well, Frida's monkey. At first, the star was elusive, but it seems that his handlers, now that the time for Oscar nominations approaches, have loosened the reigns. And we mean literally loosened the reigns--he had this cute blue harness/leash thing on before we sat down with him. The fact that he was naked except for a tiny top hat was disconcerting but not surprising considering the reputation for eccentricity the newcomer has already earned.

Sure, it is dreadfully "cliché"--perhaps even a bit offensive--to assume a monkey will be chomping a banana during any social encounter. Indeed, this monkey was not doing so. But was that a faint whiff of banana latte rising up from the styrofoam cup in front of him? What follows is the complete, unedited transcript of our fascinating, sometimes lively chat.

Cultureshark: First off, congratulations on the film. It is hard to believe that a performance so confident, so smooth, so assured, could be a debut.

Beppo: Eeek! Urk!

Cultureshark: I must say every time you were in a scene, it was--and I don't mean this in a bad way--very distracting. basically, as long as you were jumping around, it was tough to focus on the dialogue.

Beppo: Oop. Erk.

Cultureshark: One thing I find amusing: the media fawned over Salma Hayek for letting her eyebrows and mustache grow out. Yet you let virtually all your hair grow out. I realize it was an artistic decision, but was it difficult for you personally?

Beppo: ACK! Ooh!

Cultureshark: Our website has a proud tradition of giving voice to non-traditional performers. Is there something you would like to say about Primate-American performers

Beppo: ACK! EEK! BRAAAAAK!

(Beppo hops up and down)

Cultureshark: You don't like being pigeonholed--er, monkeyholed, if you will, as a Primate American?

Beppo: BRAAAAAAK!

(Beppo starts waving his arms frantically)

Cultureshark: Ok, OK, sorrr! Monkeyholed was a poor choice of words. But I think this is a serious subject. Let me put it another way.

(Beppo takes his seat again)

Cultureshark: Does it ever frustrate you that to get publicity for, let's face it, an Oscar push, your colleagues can get covers of, say, Vanity Fair, while you have to wait for National Geographic?

Beppo: Urk.

Cultureshark: I mean, you're not even credited in the movie. Was that a conscious decision to deny billing, or was there something else going on?

Beppo: OOP!

Cultureshark: Let's get back to the film itself and of course, your role. Frida Kahlo had many pet monkeys in her life. Were you playing one specific monkey, or a composite of several of them?

Beppo: Ick! Yip. Eep.

Cultureshark: Tell me a little bit about the research that went into your performance. Obviously this is a movie rich with period detail and attention to historical accuracy. How did you approach this role?

Beppo: Urk. Oooh. Ooooop.

Cultureshark: I remember there was one scene in which Frida and Diego are having an emotionally charged discussion and you sort of had this wry smile on your face. What prompted that interesting acting choice?

Beppo: Eep. Oook. Graaak.

Cultureshark: Well, maybe we'll come back to that. I wanted to ask you about the rumors that something was going on with you and costar Alfred Molina, who plays painter Diego Rivera.

Beppo: Oop! Eek! Urrrk!

Cultureshark: Specifically, I mean the tabloid report that said you, how should I put this, were seen humping his leg.

Beppo: Yip! Yip!

Cultureshark: And speaking of sensitive topics, I guess you get the question a lot about the rumors about you and Marcel from Friends...I would be letting my readers down if I didn't at least bring it up here.

Beppo: ACK! EEP! OOP! OOP!

Cultureshark: I'm just doing my job, buddy.

(Beppo begins to defecate on the table)

Cultureshark: hey! What are you--eww! Don't do that! Come on, I withdraw the question!

Beppo: GAK! GURRRK!

Cultureshark: What are you--no! Don't you dare pick that up! Bad monkey!

Beppo: EEK! GRIIIK! OOP!

Cultureshark: Now, don't even THINK you're gonna throw that! NO!

At this point we decided it was best to end the interview. Was Beppo a challenging individual? At times, sure. But it is not unusual for a talent so raw to be provocative. Hopefully we will continue to see more of this exciting if untamed presence on movie screens.

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