Q: Was it my imagination, or was there some heavy subtext in this movie? |
A: It was based on a book, and all books have subtext, so it's a good bet. |
Q: What about the scene where the members of the Fellowship had to cross the Pit of Foreboding? Was the Pit a metaphor? |
A: Well, of course, it was a metaphor for the chasm of distrust the group had to overcome before they could achieve their goal. |
Q: Ha ha! Tricked you! There was no "Pit of Foreboding" in the movie! |
|
A: Hmm. Yes, you are right, there was no such thing...or WAS THERE?
No, seriously, was there? I honestly don't remember.
|
Q: Who would win a fight, The Fellowship or the X-Men? |
A: What a geeky question. Something as silly as that really doesn't help change the stereotype of Rings fans, you know. Everyone knows the Justice League would kick BOTH their asses. |
Q: Why was page 493, paragraph 4 totally LEFT OUT OF THE MOVIE? That part ruled! |
A: Again, I can't answer such a ridiculous question. I mean, duh? Which EDITION, man? |
Q: Those little hobbits had really big feet. Does it follow that they have really big, uh, you know? |
A: Well, it would logically follow that since they are relatively small people, anything on them might appear proportionately larger to begin with, so-uh, I mean, what the hell do I care? Go ask the Playboy Advisor. Or that guy in Esquire that tells people what aftershave to wear at an amusement park. |
Q: Is it a good date movie? |
A: HA HA HA! HA HA HA! Oh, man, good one. |
Q: Who was the Foley Artist on the movie? |
A: Couldn't this question have been asked to the IMDB? He's really quite helpful if you ask nicely. Just don't call him Izzy-he absolutely hates it. And offering him a pack of smokes wouldn't hurt. |
Q: Why is it Gandalf can seemingly vanquish anything he wants by looking really hard at it, yet in some scenes he apparently sits back and let the other guys do all the work? |
A: Director Peter Jackson says "all will be made clear in future installments." Hmm. Come to think of it, he gave that answer to 5 different things we asked about that didn't seem to make sense. |
Q: How did all those actors playing the Hobbits look so small on the screen? |
A: Jackson has said he did all of that "in camera," as opposed to using digital effects or CGI. Evidently, then, he had some kind of shrinking ray either inserted in the camera or possibly mounted on top of it. |
Q: So is that one elf dude, Legolas, really a girl? He kind of looks like one. |
A: I must admit it took me 10 minutes to remember which one of the characters had the goofy name "Legolas." Then it hit me-he's the one that looks like a girl! Well, the person who plays this character, Orlando Bloom, is a male. So unless someone was pulling a reverse Hilary Swank on the production, it is fair to assume the character is a male. He sure does have pretty long hair, though. |
Q: Are Frodo and Sam, uh, you know? |
A: What? Just because two young males show no interest in the opposite sex, are given to embracing each other often and making flowery declarations of their mutual love, then can't bear to be separated, you think they're…? Uh, yeah, I wondered that, too. |
Q: That movie kinda left me hanging. Is there gonna be a sequel. |
A: Good question! Don't worry, I have some inside connections, and I can report that there is a pretty good chance you might see a sequel eventually. |
Q: Were Pip and Merry actually supposed to be funny? |
A: As you probably did, I assumed Frodo's annoying sidekicks were not supposed to be sympathetic characters, but were actually villains. Audiences would be rewarded for enduring them when they died an entertaining, satisfyingly grisly death. Of course, that didn't happen, and now I have uncovered some material in the production notes that suggest they were indeed meant to be amusing. Maybe all will be made clear in future installments. |
Q: Is that silly Elf language something that was actually created by that Tolkien guy? |
A: Tolkien apparently loved languages-I mean, really loved them, the way you or I love Perfect Strangers reruns. Anyway, what's so silly about it? It can't possibly sound any sillier than, say, French. |
Q: What is the difference between Saurman and Sauron? |
A: A couple of letters? Don't ask me to keep them straight. |
Q: I've heard about the so-called "drug culture" that appreciated the books. Is any of that influence evident in the movie? |
A: None on screen, but it is believed that Peter Jackson and the casting team may have been on something when they cast Sean "Rudy" Astin in the key role of Sam. |
Q: How has this flick received so many gushing reviews? Is it a possible contender for some Academy Awards? |
|
A: The easy answer would be to say something trite like, "Perhaps the same spell Gandalf cast on critics will work on Academy voters." But I'm gonna think of something more original.
Uh, as true as the blow from Aragon's sword…No, wait, as sure as the sun sets on Bilbo Baggins' dwelling in the Middle Earth land of...
Aw, hell with it – perhaps the same spell Gandalf cast on critics will work on Academy voters.
|
