The language of Hollywood is not always easy to understand-even when someone other than Sylvester Stallone is speaking it. It is time once again to put a Camryn Manheimful of the most recent newsworthy quotes from the world of entertainment into our Cultureshark Translator and see what the speakers really meant.

We will warn you now, your innocence may be lost when you find out that….yes, it's actually, true…sometimes, people say one thing, and mean another. Sorry you had to find out from us.

Halle Berry was asked by TV Guide why she decided to go topless for the first time in the upcoming Swordfish and she said she has gotten acclaim and proven herself as an actress, and that:
"I'm finally feeling very comfortable with my own sexuality - and I think that will show in the kinds of roles that I choose from now on. I didn't always feel comfortable with myself and my own sexuality, and I do now."

	T R A N S L A T I O N
The $500,000 they paid me to do it bought me a lot of dignity.

NYPD Blue creator Stephen Bochco's comments on Rick Schroeder leaving the show were reported on Mr. Showbiz:
"Rick is also a strong family man, and to honor his desire to spend more time with his wife and children, we are regretfully releasing him from his obligations to the show."

	T R A N S L A T I O N
Spending time with your family? Yeah right, you prick. Just ask yourself who still remembers David Caruso? (Just don't ask us to figure out what Bocho was thinking when he picked Zack from Saved by the Bell to replace Schroeder.)

Last week, Pamela Lee and Poison frontman Bret Michaels settled their lawsuit with IEG for releasing an unauthorized sex tape of them together. Her triumphant lawyer told the AP:
"You're not going to see this tape distributed now, and you're probably not going to find copies of it already out there."

	T R A N S L A T I O N
As soon as we clear that one off the shelves, we can finally release the "unauthorized" tape of her banging the guy from Warrant.

Speaking of celebrities with sex tapes, and hey, shouldn't we be doing do so whenever possible? Jennifer Lopez just signed a deal with NBC to develop a sitcom based on her family life growing up in the Bronx. According to her manager, Benny Medina:
"Jennifer tells hilarious stories about growing up all the time, and a show like this, a neighborhood comedy involving a family in a multicultural environment, with an engaging point of view and voice, is something NBC has put an emphasis on. Jennifer will be very hands-on as an executive producer, as this show is truly born out of her personal experiences."

	T R A N S L A T I O N
The networks are so desperate for ideas, they basically took whatever we pitched them. Jennifer has one or two funny stories about her Uncle Johnny and might make a cameo or two for sweeps.

Speaking again of J.Lo, we all know her ex-boo Puffy Combs was acquitted on charges based on a 1999 club shooting. However, his protégé, Shyne, took the fall and was sentenced to 10 years for his role in the incident last week. He gave Entertainment Weekly this statement:

"I'm trying to show and introduce my fellow inmates, most of whom are young men, to different attributes all humans need to succeed, including discipline, self-confidence, determination, faith and a belief in God and yourself."

	T R A N S L A T I O N
"I don't care if it is 10 years from now, P Diddy, or whatever his ass calls himself today, better watch his back when I get out, know what I'm saying?"

Then there is Cate Blanchett, who was so good in Elizabeth and built on that success by...er, was so good in Elizabeth. She recently announced she is expecting a child:
"It was a wonderful surprise and we couldn't be happier."

	T R A N S L A T I O N
My career is in the tank as soon as Lord of the Rings flops anyway, so it won't kill me to get the baby out of the way now.

Esquire editor David Granger has come under fire after his magazine ran a highly fictionalized "celebrity profile" of R.E.M.'s Michael Stipe. He defended the story to The Washington Post a few weeks ago:
""Is a Michael Stipe profile allowed to exist only to tell us about Michael Stipe? There are a lot of things going on in there. The modal form of pop culture has shifted from rock as a modal force to celebrity being the modal force."

	T R A N S L A T I O N
We'll do anything to get young males to put down Maxim and pick up our magazine for a change. That includes putting a naked Heid Klum on the cover and it certainly includes making up stuff.

Movieline magazine interviewed I>Tomb Raider director Simon West this month and asked him if he hadn't been apprehensive about signing on for a movie based on a video game. West told the magazine:
"With Tomb Raider, there was drama, character, and passion, but I could also run wild with surreal images, humor, and action. That got me excited."

	T R A N S L A T I O N
Of course it's gonna be crap. It's a video game, for crissakes, but hey, you're talking to the guy that did Con Air and The General's Daughter. What do I care?

Finally, what look at Hollywood BS would be complete without a glimpse at one of the biggest examples of BS in recent years – Pearl Harbor. Sure, the movie opened huge, but it failed to break Memorial Day records like Disney (come on, you know they did) hoped it would. Instead of admit the movie didn't meet expectations, it was time for some spin. Disney's head of dissembling, I mean distribution, cited the movie's three-hour running time as something that kept the numbers lower:
``It was physically impossible to do it with a movie that long. We already were selling out shows all over the place all weekend."

	T R A N S L A T I O N
Thank GOD Eisner capped that budget at 135 million.

Keep visiting the site for future installments of the Cultureshark Translator as we continually seek the truth in the world of entertainment.

Translation: We'll squeeze in this relatively low-maintenance feature whenever we can.