It's true, guys, Britney Spears is single again! It seems like only yesterday she was denying she was seeing Justin Timberlake while grabbing the morning newspaper from his porch. Well, gents, there is now a chance for another man to take Britney's heart--and possibly even the few body parts she hasn't already shared with the rest of the universe.
To separate the Justins from the Just-not-good-enoughs, we have devised a helpful little quiz. If you don't score well on this, you can forget, uh, scoring, with Britney. If you do make the grade, though...well, you're on your own, frankly. We have no idea how to get into contact with her.
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1) Looks aren't important and stuff, but what do you look like? |
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a. |
Average |
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b. |
Really cute |
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c. |
A total hottie |
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d. |
Youngish, kinda skinny, with a pitiful looking blond pseudo-afro |
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2) Which of the following do you most closely associate with the term "slut?" |
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a. |
Revealing clothes and heavy makeup |
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b. |
Suggestive dancing |
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c. |
The brunette bitch that was dancing with Justin in that club last week |
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d. |
Christina Aguilera |
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3) What is your favorite reading material? |
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a. |
A classic novel |
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b. |
Teen People |
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c. |
The words on the inside of the booklets of Britney CDs |
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d. |
Pretty poems and stuff |
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4) By the way, how would you describe your sexuality? |
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a. |
Homosexual male |
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b. |
"Curious" female |
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c. |
Female that has, like, done stuff with girls, but, like, who doesn't? And it doesn't really count anyway. |
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d. |
Heterosexual male |
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5) What is your opinion on how a girl dresses? |
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a. |
I don't even notice that |
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b. |
She should just dress appropriately the situation. |
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c. |
Who cares as long as she's hot? |
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d. |
She looks great wearing whatever she wants |
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6) What is your zodiac sign? |
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a. |
That gross crawly thing with the shell and the legs |
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b. |
The goat thing |
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c. |
The fish one |
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d. |
The statue of liberty one |
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7) How do you feel about pets? Do you have any? |
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a. |
I don't like pets. |
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b. |
I love pets and have at least one |
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c. |
Pets are great, as long as you have someone to take care of them and clean up all that stuff. |
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d. |
I have a large snake ideal for writhing onstage with. |
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8) Did you find anything funny about answer (d) in the last question? |
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a. |
Yeah, I've got a "snake" like that. |
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b. |
What are you talking about? |
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c. |
Get your mind out of the gutter! |
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d. |
Maybe I do, but I would share the joke in private, not in public |
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9) How do you define "virginity"? |
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a. |
No sexual contact of any kind |
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b. |
No intercourse |
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c. |
No sexual intercourse unless you are living together |
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d. |
How a girl defines her virginity is entirely her choice |
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10) What woman do you most admire? |
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a. |
a) Britney, duh! |
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b. |
Madonna |
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c. |
Your mom |
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d. |
Britney's mom |
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