Recently, Britain's Now had to shell out some dough to Ashley Judd for fabricating an interview it claimed to have had with the actress. Fabricating, of course, is the preferred legal term for "making stuff up." We have been trying to get an interview with Ashley Judd for…well, days… but we haven't made any progress. Even if we had actually tried to contact her publicist, someone close to her, or anyone who knows her in any way whatsoever, we still probably wouldn't make much progress.

But why bother? Now has shown us the way. Just make up stuff! We are clearly labeling this interview as fake, but c'mon, how much of entertainment journalism is "real," anyway? This way, we get to ask the questions you really want asked without getting sued or pummeled by burly bodyguards. We can pretty much figure what the answers will be anyway, right?

You see, celebs say the same stuff in these interviews anyway, so instead of trying to make up interesting answers, we took advantage of the situation to make up more interesting questions. How can we be sued for making up phony questions? Liberated by the format, we have created our own great fake Ashley Judd interview.

Cultureshark: Why are you so fond of not wearing underwear in public? Publicity? Exhibitionism? Just proud of yourself?

Judd: It's not like I try to go out and make fashion statements. I just want to be myself.

Cultureshark: Do you ever get, like, totally embarrassed by the fact that you are related to Naomi and Wynonna?

Judd: Family is extremely important to me, and it always will be.

Cultureshark: Do you ever listen to that Cletus T. Judd? Isn't he a hoot?

Judd: I'm not sure I understand what you're getting at.

Cultureshark: So which of your co-stars have you done the nasty with? Come on, just between you and me.

Judd: There are lots of talented actors I would love to work with if given the opportunity.

Cultureshark: Let's talk about your new movie, Someone Like You, co-starring Hugh Jackman. Are you like us-do you just bust out laughing whenever you hear the name "Hugh Jackman?"

Judd: I loved making that movie and it was great working with Hugh, and Greg, and everyone in the cast.

Cultureshark: Believe it or not, it is hard to find many theaters in our area showing the film. Is it any good?

Judd: I am very proud of how this movie has turned out.

Cultureshark: Is it just killing you that Along Came a Spider with Morgan Freeman but WITHOUT you, opened better than Kiss the Girls?

Judd: Unfortunately, I haven't had a chance to see that yet, but I wish Morgan the best! He's so talented.

Cultureshark: Remind me again, and our readers as well, which of your movies was actually good?

Judd: I think in my own way I'm putting together a good body of work.

Cultureshark: Speaking of "body," you have been willing to do nude scenes in the past. I don't have a question, I just wanted to say "thanks."

Judd: I believe the human body is nothing to be ashamed of. As long as nudity is essential to the role and not exploitative, I have no objection to it.

Cultureshark: No, really. We'll give you Heat as a good movie. Anything else?

Judd: What an interesting interview! (laughs)

Cultureshark: If I sent you a bill for the medical expenses I had after getting sick from watching Simon Birch could you help me out a little bit?

Judd: I think that was a great little movie.

Cultureshark: Would you consider yourself the Kentucky basketball team's biggest groupie, or is it tough to get that title when you're not actually a co-ed?

Judd: Go Wildcats! I have fun rooting for them.

Cultureshark: What's the deal with this racer guy…Dario? Couldn't you have just shacked up with a basketball player or another real athlete?

Judd: I don't want to get into my private life right now, if you don't mind.

Cultureshark: Hey, no problem. We're really not interested in Dario, anyway. Do…you…talk…like…this…sometimes because it is really how you talk or because you are desperately trying to remind people you aren't some kind of hillbilly? On the other hand, who were you kidding at the Oscars with that "country girl" crap?

Judd: I think at heart, I really am just a down-home, country girl. I try not to lose sight of the really important things in life.

Cultureshark: Could you clear up that legal definition of "double jeopardy" again? I mean, the way it was presented in your movie?

Judd: I was extremely proud of the success of that movie.

Cultureshark: Finally, since you are going to be the next Catwoman, do you think you could Michelle Pfeiffer's ass? If so, will anyone be able to watch?

Judd: I can't really get into that until all the "t's" are crossed and the "i's" dotted, you know.

Cultureshark: Have you ever had a better interview? Really, now? Wasn't this the best?

Judd: This was wonderful. Thanks so much!

Cultureshark: Do you love Cultureshark as much as we hear you do?

Judd: Oh, I think it's the best! It's really good stuff.

Cultureshark: Would you like to go out to dinner later?

Judd: That would be fantastic. Thank you so much.

Cultureshark: Uh, your treat, right? We don't really have expense accounts yet.

Judd: Of course! Absolutely.

There you have it. What did we learn from this fake celebrity interview? Not a whole lot, we'll admit, but not a whole lot less than a real celebrity interview, either. We hope to follow the tradition established by Now and continue to seek out the most elusive and intriguing fake celebrity.